Escaping Thoughts of My Cluttered Brain

Have any of you seen this. My friend SueBoo was kind enough to e-mail it to Hubby and I a few days ago.   It played an imporant role in my adventures in breakfast this morning.

On this lovely September morning Hubby and I got up and wandered into the kitchen to see what good eats we had.  As we opened the refrigerator, we took a brief inventory and realized our food supplies are running on the low side as I need to make a trip to the grocers and we still have a couple of days until pay day.  Hmmm… seven eggs, bread, no milk, no butter, no breakfast meats, jelly and other assorted condiments.  There was also a loaf of summer squash bread that I had recently made as well as two fresh loaves of honey wheat bread that I made yesterday.  Apparently I have been in a very domestic mood lately and have been baking bread out the wazoo (not literally, but you catch my meaning…hopefully).

Ok.  So, eggs and toast with jam it is.  We decided on scrambled eggs.  I cracked the first egg and then decided that I could make egg salad sandwiches instead.  He mentioned using the directions for easy peeling hard boiled eggs from the e-mail we had received.  Brilliant!  I fried up the first egg and while he ate it he went to check on the directions.  He came back shortly and announced that I needed to add baking soda to the eggs while they boiled, to boil them for 12 minutes, and then to move them to a bowl of ice.  Then take each end off the eggs and blow the egg out.  Simple enough, right? 

I had already put the eggs on to boil while he had been checking for the directions.  I quickly added the baking soda as he had said to do and set the timer for 12 minutes.  Then I filled a bowl with ice, added some water since it seemed that the eggs might submerge a little easier into the icy depths, and sat and patiently waited for the eggs to boil.

The timer finally sounded and I quickly moved my hard boiled treats to the ice bath.  After a few seconds of chilling, I removed my first eggs from the water, cracked each end, peeled away the shell, and then blew the egg.  The egg DID NOT come out of its shell.  In fact, all I managed to do was crush the shell in my hands and rupture a blood vessel in my brain. 

I peeled the shell, rinsed it off, and stuck it in a second bowl.  “Hmmmm… What do you suppose I did wrong?”  I asked as I picked up a second egg.  I went through the same steps again, although, I did try to be a little gentler so as not to crush the shell again.  Again crushed egg shell, ruptured blood vessel in the brain, and I think I may of have managed to burst something in my left lung as well.  What the hell?  This was definitely not working, but I was not about to give up.

I picked up the third egg, carefully chipped away the ends, and tried with all my might to blow the egg.  It teased me with a whistle as it released just a little, but refused to abandoned it’s shelly abode.  By this time I am feeling quite dizzy and light headed.  I again hand peeled the egg, rinsed it and put it in the second bowl.  Hubby, who had wandered into another room returns at this point and asks if I’m whistling.  The following exchange takes place.

Hubby,  “Are you whistling?”

Me, “No, it was the egg.”

Hubby, “Pehaps you should stop before you have a stroke.  I can see me explaining to the doctor that you had a stroke from blowing an egg.”

Thanks for the confidence and being more concerned about having to tell the doctor that I had a stroke from blowing an egg than the actually fact that I had had a stroke.  Feel the love, feel the love.  So, moving on I picked up egg number 4.  Followed the same previous pattern of steps.  After a long whistle, it finally popped out of its shell.  YAY!!!!  I finally got one to work.  I rinsed it off and put it in the bowl.  Feeling triumphant I moved on to the next to the last egg.  It did not work.  All I managed to do was blow the shell into two sections, both of which refused to let go.  Grrrr…  I hand peeled it and quickly moved on to the last egg.  It, of course, went the way of the first three.  

So, all I can say about the easy peel hard boiled eggs is…. MY ASS.  All I got out of the experience is a headache, sore lungs, sore cheeks, and a mouth full of egg shells. 

To top things off when I sat down to write this post I perused the directions.  I noticed that the directions say to add the baking soda to the ice bath not the boiling water as Hubby had instucted me to do.  Uh Hmmm.  Next time he can blow the eggs.